Discerning-huh?

Okay, so what is this discerning word that people throw around like a badge of honor.  How can I be discerning without being judgmental?  Doesn't judgment come from being discerning.  How can you be discerning without judging a person or situation?

What is it when we need to decide on whether to add or keep someone in our lives and then make the choice.  We must apply discernment but where does the discerning wisdom end and the judging begin?  I found this little card in a boutique awhile back and thought it was funny.  The more I read it though...it is really bothering me.  Here is what it says: Am I truly nonjudgmental, or does the fear of confrontation run so deep I'll simply allow anything in my presence?  Awww...I think this card has a bigger message than I first thought.  I'll visit that again, later. Here is what John 7:24 says about judgment, Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”  So the Bible tells us to judge?  But wait... Proverbs 31:9, "Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy."  

I had a recent painful situation in my life.  I cried and prayed and sought counsel and cried some more.  Then yesterday I received an email from a sweet mom of seven beauties who has wisdom beyond her years.  She told me : "Though of course forgiveness is good and right, wisdom is also something that must be applied in such relationships." I think my understanding now is that discernment is the same as the wisdom of judging a thing righteously.  Applying the Bible's laws or rules to any person and situation is what we must do and the result will be that we will continue in the light and not be swayed by anothers sin.  I can pray for the situation or sin but be discerning enough to be sure it does not change your walk with Christ.  Hebrews 4:12 nailed it for me, "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."  I see that I was using semantics with what I could and should apply to my life choices.  We do need to use judgment in our choices but a righteous judgment and then leave the rest to the Supreme Judge. It's all right there in the Word.  I can go forward applying the wisdom of discerning judgment.  I like what my super intelligent and godly son said to me once, not so long ago.  He knew I struggled with who I should allow close in my life and who maybe needs to be left at a distance.  He said to apply Matthew 7:17-20 which says,  
So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ...
He said we can be discerning by looking at a person's fruit.  Are they bearing fruit or not.  If not, I may want to walk at a distance rather than rushing to bring them in as friends.  Of course this does not mean we are to ignore non-believers...but for the purpose of figuring out how to judge or discern, specifically, this wisdom should apply.

Like so many things that are banging around in my head, it helps for me to talk it out, look for answers in God's word and listen to those so much further along in their spiritual life than I am. I do think I understand judgment and how it is used in the Bible. God is the judge and we are not to do His job, however in our daily lives He wants us to use the wisdom and discernment He has given us to judge a person or situation in reference to how they will positively or negatively affect our walk and then proceed with caution.  Yea...
I can go forward applying the wisdom of discerning judgment. 


Oh Dear Lord Jesus,
Open my eyes to the discerning wisdom I need to apply in my daily walk.  Open my ears to hear You when you answer my questions.  Open my heart to love all who come into my life without sinful judgment.  Keep my eyes, ears and heart always fixed on you and continue to guide me all the way to Your will.  Remind me always, lest I forget what a price you paid for loving me.
Amen